Thunder, Thunder

Thunder
Lighting
I’m the clouds.
With A simple look
Who could say I harness
The power
Strength
Or even might
To house such a loud roar
Such brilliant light
Magnificent energy.
Not you.
To you
I am gentle
Kind
Soft
Meek
Docile.
I won’t deny what I am
But what I am
Is both
Don’t mistake my gentle voice for weakness
My soft touch for fragility
My docile behavior for insecurity.
My words carry weight that break strongholds
My touch is craved when taken away
My docility takes me higher and higher and higher
To a place where you will only continuously feel small
Insufficient
And worn
So while you sit there
Trying to take lead
You’re running a race
I’ve already ran

– your average human

*trigger warning*

Last night I thought about killing myself

In detail
Down to the outfit
How twisted
Still wanting to impress
Like it’d make a difference
Dead
Is
Dead.
Big question.
How?
My mind completely submerged in fog
Thinking
Bleeding out was too red,
Drowning was pain,
Hanging the same,
Maybe overdosing on my bed.
Strangely enough,
None of those brought satisfaction
Drive off a bridge.

*click*

I sat in my car.
And I didn’t drive very far.
I watched time tick.
Anxious
Nervous
Afraid
The Bridge only got closer
And the closer it got
The further I wanted to be
Although in 30 seconds I’d finally be free
Or so I thought

10 seconds

9 seconds

8 seconds

*bzzzzzt*

One last message before I lay to sleep

A meme.

Enough to remind me
Enough to help me see truth
Laughter
Excitement
Joy
Love
Hope
Light
Enough to help me forget darkness
And regain my sight.
I crossed over the bridge
Went home to my bed
And Said a final goodbye
To that voice in my head

– your average human

Don’t Forget

Hours spent
It almost feels like a compliment.
It’s not.
There’s just nothing better to do.
Or in this case
No one.
It steals
Time
Energy
Will power
Hope
Joy
Peace
It is you
You are your own thief
Your mind the mastermind
Your heart in silence
Hoping you’d listen to is gentle beating
Tender and kind
Don’t forget
After all
It was your heart that led me to you. 

– your average human

You’ll Float Too

Fear. 

F

E

A

R

.

It will wreck you.
Drown you.
Suffocate you.
It doesn’t care.
It’s never going to let you up for air.
Fear fueled by hurt
Insecurity the heaviest you’ve ever known
Lifeless
You let fear drown you
The ocean floor never looked so beautiful
A trick
A simple trick
Lies disguised as beauty
To keep you at rock bottom
Breathe in
Salt water in your lungs
Panic in your eyes
Burned by thoughts of insufficiency
Anxiety.
Only one thing on your mind
Air
A big breathe of fresh air
Feels impossible to achieve
Weighed down by fear
Hands clutching the weights keeping you down
You’ve been doing it to yourself all along.
Let go.
I promise you’ll float. 

– your average human

You May Not Even Be A Tree At All

There are many times in life where you may feel stuck.
Maybe stuck in more ways than one.
Emotionally
Spiritually
Financially
Mentally
Helpless
Powerless maybe
But that’s normal
Let’s change from stuck to planted

Ah

The difference that makes.
Planted.
Maturity
Growth
Development
If you want it
Choose it
Water it
Otherwise it’s just death
Simple.
Staying there too long
Death just the same.
Eventually you’ll have reached your limit
You’ll need to be placed in a bigger pot
More growth.
More.
Otherwise
Your roots die
The end.
Repot yourself when you’ve reached an end
Growth never ends.
It only always begins.
A continuous motion of love from the one above
That we could only hope to get closer to who He wants us to be.
Dig deep
Figure it out
Repot or continue to grow until you have to repot
Only you know
Because no one can grow for you.
That’s something for you alone.
Do not envy the leaves of a tree who’s grown 20 feet tall.
You may not even be a tree at all.
But you have a purpose and mission all the same.
Dig deep.
Figure it out.
Only you know.

– your average human

The Beginning

This is only the beginning of something beautiful. Stories of people who are completely extraordinary who have faced mental health troubles or are still struggling with them. Everyone experiences things differently and this is just a small explanation of WHY this series is called “I Need Help”.
I hope you stick around to hear all of these amazing stories!

I Need Help Podcast

1 2 3

What keeps you up at night?

What troubles you?

What scenes play out in your head over and over and over again and usually always resulting in the same thing. 

The moves change but the outcome remains the same.

Does that mean something or do we somehow always sabotage our thoughts into the same result?

Is that what others call being close minded?

I’m honestly not that sure.

Most nights I sleep easy

But as time has passed

Comfort lines have been crossed

I find myself a little indifferent.

A little lost.

I see things in a different light.

I see things I don’t actually quite like but cannot actively change without bringing on a fight.

A fight I’m not certain I want to fight.

A fight that may result in an end as opposed to a beginning.

Or is an end actually a beginning??

Idk.

I’ve heard that a lot.

But what I haven’t heard too much is

“C’mon you’ve got this!”

“Let’s do it. It’s worth the risk!”

Because no risk is easy

Fun.

Safe.

Or secure.

You’ve just gotta let go.

So I’ll ask you one question.

And it’s okay if you’re not quite sure

Most of the time I don’t have any answers for some time.

But with good time I find that I’ve have the answer all along.

So here is my question.

Are you ready to let go?

If yes,

1

2

3

GO!

your average human





Continue reading “1 2 3”