I’m the clouds.
With A simple look
Who could say I harness The power Strength
Or even might
To house such a loud roar
Such brilliant light
Not you. To you I am gentle
I won’t deny what I am
But what I am
Don’t mistake my gentle voice for weakness
My soft touch for fragility
My docile behavior for insecurity.
My words carry weight that break strongholds
My touch is craved when taken away
My docility takes me higher and higher and higher
To a place where you will only continuously feel small
Insufficient And worn
So while you sit there Trying to take lead
You’re running a race
I’ve already ran
Down to the outfit
Still wanting to impress
Like it’d make a difference
My mind completely submerged in fog Thinking
Bleeding out was too red,
Drowning was pain,
Hanging the same,
Maybe overdosing on my bed.
None of those brought satisfaction
Drive off a bridge.
I sat in my car. And I didn’t drive very far. I watched time tick.
Afraid The Bridge only got closer
And the closer it got The further I wanted to be
Although in 30 seconds I’d finally be free Or so I thought
One last message before I lay to sleep
Enough to remind me
Enough to help me see truth
Enough to help me forget darkness
And regain my sight. I crossed over the bridge Went home to my bed
And Said a final goodbye
To that voice in my head
Hours spent It almost feels like a compliment.
It’s not. There’s just nothing better to do. Or in this case
No one. It steals
It is you
You are your own thief
Your mind the mastermind
Your heart in silence
Hoping you’d listen to is gentle beating
Tender and kind
Don’t forget After all
It was your heart that led me to you.
It will wreck you. Drown you. Suffocate you. It doesn’t care. It’s never going to let you up for air. Fear fueled by hurt
Insecurity the heaviest you’ve ever known
You let fear drown you
The ocean floor never looked so beautiful
A simple trick
Lies disguised as beauty
To keep you at rock bottom
Salt water in your lungs
Panic in your eyes
Burned by thoughts of insufficiency
Anxiety. Only one thing on your mind
A big breathe of fresh air
Feels impossible to achieve
Weighed down by fear Hands clutching the weights keeping you down
You’ve been doing it to yourself all along. Let go. I promise you’ll float.
There are many times in life where you may feel stuck. Maybe stuck in more ways than one. Emotionally
Helpless Powerless maybe
But that’s normal
Let’s change from stuck to planted
The difference that makes. Planted.
If you want it Choose it
Otherwise it’s just death
Simple. Staying there too long
Death just the same. Eventually you’ll have reached your limit
You’ll need to be placed in a bigger pot
More growth. More. Otherwise
Your roots die
The end. Repot yourself when you’ve reached an end Growth never ends. It only always begins. A continuous motion of love from the one above
That we could only hope to get closer to who He wants us to be. Dig deep
Figure it out
Repot or continue to grow until you have to repot
Only you know
Because no one can grow for you.
That’s something for you alone.
Do not envy the leaves of a tree who’s grown 20 feet tall. You may not even be a tree at all. But you have a purpose and mission all the same. Dig deep.
Figure it out. Only you know.
This is only the beginning of something beautiful. Stories of people who are completely extraordinary who have faced mental health troubles or are still struggling with them. Everyone experiences things differently and this is just a small explanation of WHY this series is called “I Need Help”.
I hope you stick around to hear all of these amazing stories!